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Inner Salon
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February 28, 2007 (6:41am) & 2 horas for local time Sqwaking birds open dawn but sun already shows ten am I want to write spanish words and sentences but poetry style falls off fingers and english steals my language thoughts. I guess because I am lazy in this moment, just waking, wanting to not worry about writing in spanish now and then not remembering the words later. grey skies with dull light a lazy day except for the sqwaking birds They remind me of the blue jays and black crows one week has passed On one had it seems like
At the outside of my window there are
the aroma is wonderfully intoxicating I want to kiss each one of them
comes and to look at me I am sitting at my table and look at much diligent work like a dance of the tango each flower with a different motion and the birds negotiates, spins, turns, bends with much delicacy con mucho delicacy with perfect balance and friendship Yo quiseo yo could see el rio desde mi computer La horizon es un mystery en este minuto la sol in the distance [I feel the words in spanish, but don t know them like a brother today, so the fluctuation between the spanish energy, and the mind, not knowing the words for the feelings, encroaches every sentence.
Also there is the constant tug between wanting to write very brief modern american jg haiku style poem/thoughts, with very little usage of adjectives, only verbs and nouns for the english version, but the spanish wants to take over, and insert a more flowing full embodiement of words, and the two opposite energies I know produce, a kind of convaluted language, making a convaluted imperfect style of writing, I don t like. at least not now. but after some days, who knows what I will feel. everything is in evolution.
I like the brief style with few words, as in my chap book writing, but I also like the embellishment style, while using spanish words.
and add to the probelm, that I don t remember (in this moment) know all of the spanish words I want to use, so I have the additonal delema of inserting the english words, for the spanish, and looking them up later, which often doesn t get the gist of what I am saying, in the immediate moment of writing.
I could stop, and look up the words, and get them accurate, as to what I want to say in spanish, but then I destroy the feeling or ambiance of the moment I am writing in.
getting into the dictionary, flipping through pages for the accuracy puts a nail in the coffin of many wonderful moments of pure inspiration, lust, passion, anger, loneliness, happiness and the list goes on and on.
and, add to this english/spanish, writing grammatical chore/delema/problem/situation to
the fact my english spelling and grammar isn t so hot these days to begin with! And, my spanish from lack of use, and memory gaps, makes the writing even more of a chore, when I am searching for understandable communicative choices.
at least there is still 'english' spell check! Ha, ha the jokes on me. the spell check wants to check and respell everything, so it takes five times the length of time to do it.]
Interesting birds whose names I don t know in either spanish; or english; and their companions the butterflies, and insects with incredable mechanical sounding calls, and salutations; give me the opportunity to name everything with my own words, like darwin or audoban.
if I only remembered my latin from days of my youth, I could be a botanist with great pleasure.
but of course all these birds already have latin and botanical and local color names they don t need another distinction though mine would be more fun than anything botanical or latin I am sure of that.
take for example the early morning sqwalking big dark wing white bottom bird only an indian would call a bird that.
you can understand how descriptions of birds became names when language developed.
Those early guys, not only had the whole rain forest to explore, they could dream up names, any names, for anything they wanted, and change them, adapt them, when they met someone else. those early days of investigation of the land, animals, birds and life in general must have been full of great illumination and vocabulary building.
And, what about some guy only seeing animals, and vegetation, and then stumbling across other humans.
now that must have really been interesting.
comparing their vocabularies, food, customs, insights, shortcuts to places, directions to waterfalls, big forests, hordes of animals, water supplies and on and on.
I wonder what made men kill each other right off the get go.
probably misunderstanding of words.
maybe fear.
maybe lack of food and not wanting to share it.
Maybe sport. if you eat an animal, why not eat a man too.
" a car comes up the dirt passageway, up the driveway that is mostly grass, except where tires go up and down make dirt, slows when the driver sees my curtains open to the veranda-patio.
perhaps notices me, or perhaps notices the night flowers still want to be opened.
the gray of the day, gives them an unusual look into the morning, way past their bed times.
night and day bugs dance from one blossom to the next.
enough of what they are looking for, for everyone.
the chorus of bird calls from the fields seems endless.
for me the intruder, they are all new and outstanding.
Each with a territory to protect no doubt.
the wide varieties of their sounds intrigues me.
you would think they would be more soft, or not so staccatto, and high pitched, to match the flow of the land more.
after all the colors of the birds blend in fashionably to match the shades of browns, sepias, redish tinge to blonde grass.
all those subtle shades blending a marriage of colors.
yet the voices are so annoying, irritating, too loud and shrill to me.
but who am I to wish them to change.
after moments of watching the sun chick and check patches of itself along the wood gated fences up along the tiny dirt road with scrub brush along its sides, up to the hammock, by the cows, in all these various places slowing moving around place to place dodging the clouds that lighten up a bit but still own a lot of gray in them I realize the birds are probably not from here either.
they are on their way north for the latin american spring or to mexico or texas.
maybe even to the southern appalacians.
one thing is for sure they never make it to the litchfield hills or berksires of connecticut or massachusettes.
I never have seen or heard any of these species.
though the voice of the blue jays fighting and crows crowing combined into one annoying bird call gives a good audio description of them.
imagine a flock of annoying blue jays waking you at daybreak before you want to get out of bed fighting with dozens of crows going full blast boom box blasting a shrillness that gets under your skin and forces you up no matter how tired you can be from the night before.
it just isn t worth laying their in bed no matter how comfortable torturing your self with the hope they will go away because they don t.
they may move around but they don t leave far enough away to let peace and quiet tuck you back into never-never land.
The only time they disappear completely is during the great storms which seem to me have been coming quite regularly.
we have 90 millimeter in one night which is the amount usually for one month.
It has stormed five nights and two days in a row.
it is great to wake up with everything so fresh and less blonde, less dry.
"
my first two visiters! Maria and Martin stopped by.
maria from the big dinner last time I was here with the beautiful children who is now engaged to gustavo.
I have the fresh scent of a woman in the pores of my face.
the clean air makes every scent stand out with enhancement.
she gives a good warm hug and nice soft kisses.
I like saying ciao to the spanish women...and italians too... anyone with the latin blood.
A farm truck rattles up the dirt road.
blue white and wood. empty now with the return latter full of hay or vegetables for market.
Now for some matte. yerba...
" lazy sqwaking birds blue jays black crows appears land soft breezes tree tops marriage ... Marriage
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